Taylor Connect

Dear Taylor Swift,

Tue, Sep 25, 2012 at 3:48 PM By: decinere

I kinda' want to write these to you.

Not so you can write me some beautiful song or anything, not so I can suck up to you or anything, but just 'cause I want to believe that when I write something you're reading it...like, y'know, I might have a chance here. This is a place where I fit in. Where I'm not trapped on The Outside. I'm sure you don't feel like that anymore. Or maybe you do. What do I know about being famous? None.

Is it a curly-haired thing, perhaps? It's not like people ever hated me, or you, but of course we were different. Music infests our heads like...I don't want to say tapeworms, so I'll say jimmies (yes, I do say jimmies even though where I live we call them sprinkles) on a little boy's ice cream cone. That sounds at least a little less morbid, right? I'm rambling, aah. Like I was saying: curlies. 3B here, at least I think I am. All I know is it looks like yours...just not as flawless and definitely not blonde. I wish it was though; It's kinda' sorta' a brown with purples and reds. Again with the rambling...

Do you ever ramble? I (obviously) do. I tend to tell stories without trying to. I think you do that, too. With your songs. Maybe you just want to write music and show the world your emotions, but I listen to them like an audio-tape reading me off a tragic or beautiful story. Sometimes they're even tragically beautiful. Like Ronan for example. It shouldn't have taken my idol to make me realize other people hurt also. Little other people. But it did. Are you mad at me? If you are, girl, I'm real sorry. I want to make you happy.

Happier than John made you anyway. I learned Dear John on my Epiphone Hummingbird about a month ago. It's sounds even better as a raw acoustic. It's gorgeous. It might be my favourite from Speak Now. But, y'know, Last Kiss is good, too. And Long Live. And Back to December, Mine, Mean, Better Than Revenge, The Story of Us, and Ours. Also If This Was A Movie, Speak Now, Sparks Fly, Haunted, Enchanted, and Never Grow Up... So basically they're all good. ALL of them. Every single 200+ song. I really like your demo Matches. Next time someone says they love me I'll keep that in mind.

Sometimes I want to be a feminist. Would that be such a bad thing? Because men would still hate you either way. I want to be loved though, and I'm not lesbian nor am I bi-sexual, so that wouldn't work. So I just smile and those raunchy jokes they tell (now, now, I never said I don't tell them, too) and listen to your happy-romance songs hoping one day I can finally write one that's not about relationship-disasters.

Yep, that's right, I write some songs myself. I only play guitar and piano though. I'm gonna get a ukelele soon. Then I'll learn the banjo, and buy a mandolin. But I'll probably vomit on it because those things look hard. My fingers are probably too wide. I wrote a song three days ago, actually. It's called Outta' My Head. The chorus goes like this: I thought I was far from neglect, reject, I / I fell right through the trapdoor of your arms / oh I stopped believing all the bad things that they said / but I guess I let you get inside my head / so stay outta' my head. And it just changes after that, showing how I finally got over him. Well kinda' got over him. Mostly. Maybe. Okay not really. But still.

I thought about you at Steak 'n' Shake today. I don't know if they had those in Pennsylvania or Tennessee. Or even Cali. I'm in Ohio an they have a bunch here. Well anyway they've got all their fall milkshakes in. I know you like pumpkin spice things, like me. I love 'em. Well, all they had was s'mores (how the heck is that fall?) and caramel apple, so I just got chocolate. I figured that would suffice, since I had a pumpkin cupcake yesterday. It was delicious om nom nom.

My parents really like you. My dad especially (okay, gimme' a chance to explain myself, girl). You're just about all I sing to, and Daddy likes it when I sing. He always has...let's just say he's close to his feminine side. Har har. Maybe it's because he worries too much? He has M.S.. That means multiple sclerosis. It's a disease that damages the cushion (myelin sheath) around a nerve cell. He was diagnosed on my birthday when I was five...I'm fourteen now. So he's been a retired vet from the Cold War and from being a fireman and medic for...I dunno', more than five years plus. I vaguely remember one time, maybe it was a dream, being told he had seven years to live. But he's doing good. Last year he had an episode and he gave up. I mean it, too, literally. He stopped taking the new meds and quit therapy and he told the people who came to the house to stop coming. I was really scared. But he's okay now. He made it. I'm just dreading when the next episode comes. Until then I'll just sing with all my heart to him, using your songs (if you don't mind). He likes love, too. Thus he likes your songs. Your happy ones are his favourite.

Do mind if I do this every so often? Just, y'know talk to you like this? I've got a lot to say. And since it's a blog I figured... Sometimes they might be rants. You don't have to read those. You don't have to read any of these, actually. But you can if you so desire.

So, until next time I type something (which honestly might been soon, I apologize), let you and all your other fan and followers' love and hope Begin Again.

Love you Taylor,

Comments

  1. bestofcu avatar

    On Fri, Nov 23, 2012 at 2:02 PM, bestofcu said:

    congrats great write

  2. decinere avatar

    On Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 7:55 AM, decinere said:

    Querida Senorita,

    Hoy es el tres de noviembre, y:
    Hola, que tal? Estoy regular.

    Do you speak Spanish? I do (obviously). It's my third year learning it, so I'm not fluent yet, but. I have two more years to take it until I get to AP Spanish 4, then by then I might be able to go to your Argentina shows, ahah.

    Well like I said en espanol earlier: How's it going? I said I'm doing okay. I'm a little upset with this girl who ruined a relationship I had, but. I guess I can forgive her because there were rumours going around about the guy and I, so...she was just acting off of those, I suppose...

    I had a dream last night. It was great. It was just him and I, hanging out and saving lives from evil corn patches (okay, I watched Children of the Corn the other day...). Just the norm', duh. I was so lonely in the dream, and he asked me cockily, "What, am I the only handsome good guy friend you have?" And I sniffled and tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't answer him but I walked into his arms and wrapped myself around him. He held me like that for awhile and eventually took him back (I broke up with him, because I didn't want him to get hurt by the rumours like I was being hurt). There were no rumours in the dream, only people going "oooooohhhh". It was great. My parents actually liked him in that dream, ahah...

    I've being song-writing again, finally. It's been like a week and I hadn't written anything on the guitar, but I started again. I just lost my muse there for awhile, I s'pose. I want to write a happy song, a happy one about him. But I'm too scared it'll end up sad and I'll just feel worse, y'know?

    I'm just so lonely, Taylor.
    Please never feel this lonely. You have tons of fans looking out for you.

    If you need me, I'm here. All of us Swifties are.

    Much love,
    decinere

  3. decinere avatar

    On Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:30 AM, decinere said:

    To A Lovely Girl,

    10/22/12

    Hey. It's the twenty-second of October. Do you know what that means? Hah, you should, it's your past two year's work. Sixteen plus songs full of love and revenge and pain and grief and hatred and anger and happiness and colours...I can feel it. I just want you to know that;

    I can feel the Stars at night-the prettiest Light-The Last Time I will fall fall a guy who will make it all have to Begin Again, I'll only allowed myself on Holy Grounds to stay in a State of Grace, no matter how Treacherous it may be to get there, even if I Know It's going to be Trouble. Because I Almost Do know All Too Well about this pain, even though I've only lived fourteen years, not Twenty-two. The next guy who tells me to suffer then begs for us to get back together, I'll say We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together no matter how much you want me to Stay Stay Stay. Even though Mom says I'm The Lucky One, I'll still feel just a little Sad Beautiful Tragic no matter if Everything Has Changed for me. Things are still Red. But they're getting less intense, a little more pink.

    I should write a song called pink. And then I'll sing it and be all: "But things were once red red red rejalskdj reksajdd" blah blah blah and so forth. That'd be cool, huh?

    I don't have much to say, other than congratulations with your new marvelous album. I love it already. I've only heard the songs that weren't released early once (I don't have my pre-order yet ): ). I hope to see you on the Red Tour for the first time...ever. Missing you from Dark Grey Ohio. Hahah I've been listening to Dark Blue Tennessee all day, for the record. Anyways, again with the rambling...

    Don't look at me, you've got more fans at home and everybody knows that, everybody knows that, oooo lalalalalaaa.....

    Love you Taylor,
    A Fellow Swiftie

  4. decinere avatar

    On Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:29 AM, decinere said:

    Taylor...

    10/10/12

    Hey, listen, I'm sorry / No you're not sorry / Please listen / Too late to save us from the fallout / Oh come on I was busy / You should've said no! / (My interpretation of you upset at me for not posting a blog in foreevvveeerr)

    Sorry I've been gone. I got wrapped up in being a nerd and thinking about my own romantic misadventures. I should've at least taken a break just to say hi and let you know I was alive. Am alive. Er--well--whatever. Yeah so I'm breathing 'n' stuff. So it's all good......?

    Today is Wednesday. Hump Day. 10/10/2012. I had school today. But do you know what I did all school-day long? Listened to I Knew You Were Trouble. Yep, not even gonna' lie. So if I fail any upcoming tests, I am so blaming it on you Lovely. [;

    Wanna' hear about guy-stuff? I trust you with it. Unless you make a song about it (but I guess that wouldn't be sooo bad). Well if you don't just skip over the next paragraph, 'kay? I figure you don't have much time for my shenanigans and I so it's perfectly fine if you skip it. I'm just ranting because I thought you might understand? I don't even know ugh.

    So, once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, I met this guy when I was out and about with my friend. Let's call her Yana. Well, Yana and I were at a local gym, the YMCA, and it was Teen-Night. This means a bunch of teens from the area group up and go to the Y just to have fun. It's reserved for kids up to age sixteen. I was in eighth grade at the time, the very beginning of it, and they was a guy I had seen around before there. Let's call him...Ricky. Ricky was very cute--err hot--and like any girl he got my attention right away because of it. But of course he just had to be a bad-boy. Meaning he was a little out of my league. I mean, it could happen me and him, except people might've given us looks. Anyway. He's super flirty and tempting, y'know, so I guess I liked that? The next few weeks he made trips to my school and found me just to say hi. Eventually this stopped and I never saw him again...until now, this year (freshie). Ricky starts going to my church, and makes/has made a complete character change since I saw him last. He is such a gentleman, but still flirty and fun! The exact thing I've been looking for girl! The church went on a canoe-trip together, and that's when it all started again. However, he got really intense. Ever since August (it's October now [;) we have been talking and being "buddy-buddy". He would hang out with me every high school football game, despite literally how many girls are after him (popular girls, attractive girls, all of them). He would tickle me, compliment me, treat me like a princess, give me hugs, (friendly?) kisses on the cheek/forehead, and just be oh-so nice. Well, Ricky decides that all of a sudden after all of this, he's going to tell me he doesn't like me anymore. And he also decided he was gonna' make it this big thing. Like a giant joke that I fell for. And it's all my fault that I'm sitting here with another broken-heart, still falling for him and his flirty antics even though he's dated three different girls, all of them hating me, and is taking one to Homecoming.

    Like I said. Shame on me. We should be feminists or something so we just don't have to give a crap anymore. But I guess you're doing just dandy with Conor. Sorry about all those accusations that you're cheating on him. I don't believe them! You have been through to much to do it to another person. I hope they get what those stupid anonymous sources deserve. Hmph.

    I know I shouldn't leave you like this, with just a rant, but I have to. I kept forgetting to the dishes and now Mom is angry. So I gotta' go. Sorry girly.

    Love you nonetheless, Tay-Tay!
    A devoted fan x

  5. decinere avatar

    On Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:28 AM, decinere said:

    Miz T. Swizzle,

    09/28/12

    Hey gurl. I missed you yesterday, real sorry 'bout that. Thursdays my friends come over, so we were out partyin'...hahah that is such a lie we were walking around creepy condominiums. Yep, we're so hardcore. Rock on. (anyways...)

    So what's shakin' bacon? Today is Friday, obviously, and you know what that means for highschoolers...woot woot, footballin' tonight baby! It's a home game, so my friends and I are going to go (I always go, but usually with only one friend...today I'm going with a whopping TWO oh snap improvement). The theme is pajamas, so everyone will be in sweats. Which is good because autumn in Ohio is COOOLD! You should know since you lived in Pennsylvania (neighbors!).

    I'm super excited because I can be comfy and show off my fifty-dollar sweatpants from Pink. What a waste of money. Oh well, I knew this day would come when I can finally wear them out-and-about. Pfft, totally.

    Wow I'm really rambling today huh, Taylor? Sorry 'bout that. I think this is gonna' be a reoccurring thing, my rambling. So not to be brutal but I'd get used to it. No pressure, hon. Do you call people 'hon'? Or just your fans? Like friend-wise. Because I know you say baby and honey and babe andandandand a lot, in your songs at least.

    We have to leave at six-thirty for the game, so I have an hour to get ready. But my bathroom smells like skin ointment and make-up so I'm airing it out right now (T.M.I...?). So it'll be awhile 'till I'm actually ready. That and I need to eat. I'm freakin' starving, girl!

    AAAHH I'm so excited!! This is gonna' be great, oh wow. Did you ever go to high school football games? I know you missed your first and second prom (well, you had some forme of second prom but you know), but what about the games? I've always loved them. I remember when I was really little and we'd go (I have a sister who's 9 1/2 years older than me...), and the high school section's kids looked SO BIIIGG, but now I'm like: "pfft, I don't even care."

    I don't really have much to say. So I guess you could call this spam but still... I felt real bad about missing yesterday's post. So I must go on!

    I had GEL practice Wednesday, and we were supposed to take a break. I still wanted to play guitar though, but the mics were still on, so I just strummed without a pick real hard ('cause that's the way you strum to the song)...I have a huge-o callus on my thumb now. It looks ugly but I'm gonna' keep it there 'till it pops. Ew sorry. But no seriously, I've got character in my fingers now, broseph.

    Okay fo'real that's all I have to say. Sosorryomg. I'll have a better post tomorrow or something, I promise! Love you Taylor, keep those character-fingers strumming, girl! [: Chao!

  6. decinere avatar

    On Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:28 AM, decinere said:

    Miz T. Swizzle,

    09/28/12

    Hey gurl. I missed you yesterday, real sorry 'bout that. Thursdays my friends come over, so we were out partyin'...hahah that is such a lie we were walking around creepy condominiums. Yep, we're so hardcore. Rock on. (anyways...)

    So what's shakin' bacon? Today is Friday, obviously, and you know what that means for highschoolers...woot woot, footballin' tonight baby! It's a home game, so my friends and I are going to go (I always go, but usually with only one friend...today I'm going with a whopping TWO oh snap improvement). The theme is pajamas, so everyone will be in sweats. Which is good because autumn in Ohio is COOOLD! You should know since you lived in Pennsylvania (neighbors!).

    I'm super excited because I can be comfy and show off my fifty-dollar sweatpants from Pink. What a waste of money. Oh well, I knew this day would come when I can finally wear them out-and-about. Pfft, totally.

    Wow I'm really rambling today huh, Taylor? Sorry 'bout that. I think this is gonna' be a reoccurring thing, my rambling. So not to be brutal but I'd get used to it. No pressure, hon. Do you call people 'hon'? Or just your fans? Like friend-wise. Because I know you say baby and honey and babe andandandand a lot, in your songs at least.

    We have to leave at six-thirty for the game, so I have an hour to get ready. But my bathroom smells like skin ointment and make-up so I'm airing it out right now (T.M.I...?). So it'll be awhile 'till I'm actually ready. That and I need to eat. I'm freakin' starving, girl!

    AAAHH I'm so excited!! This is gonna' be great, oh wow. Did you ever go to high school football games? I know you missed your first and second prom (well, you had some forme of second prom but you know), but what about the games? I've always loved them. I remember when I was really little and we'd go (I have a sister who's 9 1/2 years older than me...), and the high school section's kids looked SO BIIIGG, but now I'm like: "pfft, I don't even care."

    I don't really have much to say. So I guess you could call this spam but still... I felt real bad about missing yesterday's post. So I must go on!

    I had GEL practice Wednesday, and we were supposed to take a break. I still wanted to play guitar though, but the mics were still on, so I just strummed without a pick real hard ('cause that's the way you strum to the song)...I have a huge-o callus on my thumb now. It looks ugly but I'm gonna' keep it there 'till it pops. Ew sorry. But no seriously, I've got character in my fingers now, broseph.

    Okay fo'real that's all I have to say. Sosorryomg. I'll have a better post tomorrow or something, I promise! Love you Taylor, keep those character-fingers strumming, girl! [: Chao!

  7. decinere avatar

    On Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 7:27 AM, decinere said:

    Here's to post number two. Cheers.

    Does that make you happy? Are you happy right now? I mean, today, the twenty-sixth of September. Are you happy today, were you sad today? I swear I'm not meaning to pester you. It's just a blog. Bloggers can be annoying. I'm fitting in, duh.

    Today was okay, I guess. Yesterday was terrible. But right now this very second is pretty sucky, too. I haven't felt good lately. Not sick bad, but, happy-bad. I haven't been truly happy for more than an hour lately. I thought I was over this, Taylor... It's like all [i]life ever does is break and burn and end...[/i] But as you know, I'm probably just rambling. I'm gonna' tell you why today was sorta' bad. You can skip the huge-o paragraph, if you wanna'.

    First period...art class. I love art almost as much as I love music, and I've been studying it three years longer. I'm not necessarily better at it than I am at guitar and song-writing and what-not--it just--takes forever, y'know? You like painting, right? You should know the feeling. Repetition, ugh. We drew contours of our hands. Well I did anyway. Second period...Honours English. I was so angry this period, I don't even know why. I had [i]Begin Again[/i] stuck in my head. I wanted to listen to it so bad. We're reading and annotating [i]Frankenstein[/i]. Have you ever read that book? Yes, no? Well don't. It's terribly boring. Third period, study hall! I listened to [i]Begin Again[/i] finally. Then I did some homework. I calmed down a little this period. Fourth period, geometry. Yay (not). I stole my friends apple cider (do you like apple cider?). Yumm. Fifth period, Spanish II. I made friends today. They're crazy. Their names are Skylar, Tarek (? I don't know, he's Muslim I think), Andrew, and some other guy I feel really bad that I can't remember his name. We discussed "nerds". Nerd is an insult used against people who like stuff. Fun stuff. Like video games and acting and being an idiot in the middle of restaurants. That's the best. Sixth period, Honours Science. We used iPads today, so I just zoned out and drew Adventure Time characters. Do you like Adventure Time? It's my favourite show with it's "nerdiness"...see what I did there? Har har. Seventh period, World Studies. I listened to a lecture and apparently got "salty" because we had to take another half-journal full of notes about people cutting other peoples' heads off. Okay, so maybe two pages but still. I'm a teenager, everything has to be dramatic or no one understands. Humph.

    And now I'm sitting at home after playing guitar (my lovely Epiphone Hummingbird acoustic I got on Monday for my birthday) with some sad look on my face because, after writing about it, it wasn't bad at all and I still feel lonely and cheated. Do you have those days? Your songs sometimes seem like it: [i]So I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes~[/i] That's my favourite line. 'Cause I do it all the time. So don't feel lonely, girl. But I dunno'. Maybe it's hormones. I bet that's it (this got awkward dear Lord sorry...). Or maybe it's another curly-haired girl thing. Who knows?

    Has a boy ever told you they loved you, but because you're a hopeless romantic you can't quite say it back yet without getting that gut-wrenching feeling in your stomach? Then the next day they go get another girlfriend leaving you feeling pointless? THAT'S IT! That's why I feel sad. Like I said, maybe feminism wouldn't be so bad... You should write a song about that. Or so you don't have to worry about it, I'll do it myself. Oh wait, I already did. *unamused face*

    How's Meredith? I see you clipped her claws all nice, Miss Taylor Allison. My cat's declawed in the front, and in the back they just sorta'...shed off when they get long. Ew, sorry that was gross. My cat is about eighteen. Four years older than me. She's dying. Her name's Rascal, and she means more to me than anything in the world (no offense, your music is second...?). She can't keep any food in her stomach, and she's deaf so she can't her herself yowling for more cat food that she can't even keep down. I just wanna' cry at the pain she always seems to be in. But Mom won't let me take her to the vet; "It's just an old cat thing, Sarah," she tells me. I want to save her, my Little Rabbit Foot (her feet look exactly like rabbits'), but no one understands how I plan to do so. Not even me. So for your sake, make sure Meredith is always happy and healthy. For me.

    Is Conor nice? He's a cutie. Is [i]Begin Again[/i] about him? I can really picture a swinging-head-back-laugh-like-a-little-kid on him, y'know? Oye, so many question, sorry aha!

    Speaking of oye and questions... ���¿T���º hablas espa���±ol? Yo hago. Es muy fac���­l. Of course I'm not fluent, albeit. Ooooh, I love that word: Albeit. If I ever become a singer, I'll write albeit all over me. And the number fourteen. I never knew you liked the number thirteen 'till about a year ago. I've always loved the number fourteen. Actually, I was scared of it for two years. But this year, it's my lucky number since it never caused me any harm.

    Harm...ever had an abusive boyfriend? Don't answer that...it's personal. I had one once. Actually we started dating February 16th of this year. We broke up June 28th. Well, I broke up with him. He had "broke up" (what I mean is he never said the words I'm breaking up with you, but he would say no sparks were flying or he liked my best friend instead of me etc, etc...) with me seven times. I can't believe I took him back each time. He threw soda bottles at my head and when we were with his friends he'd tell them to do it, too, and they would. He threw his phone at my feet, he'd bite me (that sounds cute but it hurt and he never meant any affection with it)... Once he gave me his phone, and once I had it in my hands and tackled me to the ground screaming "GIVE IT BACK!!". Also, I went to my best friend's house one day instead of his because I had been hanging out with him for such a long time, and not KK's (my BFF's pet-name), so he decided he'd cuss me out. There's too many younger eyes here to type the exact words. We were in his (finished, don't worry) basement playing xBox (I thought I was being quite the girlfriend even doing that) because it was freezing or burning hot outside, I can't remember. So for obvious reasons I told him the temperature was giving me a stomach ache (I don't do well with extreme temperatures) so he dragged me by my hair across the basement so I'd go outside. I went outside. He stole my phone all the time and cussed my friends out, he'd make sure everything he did wrong look like it was my fault. He did it so often I started to believe him. I had depression for about three years and he told me: "Since you're sad guys will never love you," and went on to brag about himself. I eventually thought I deserved his torture but my friends and family got me to believe otherwise and I broke it off with him. I was so proud of myself.

    Don't ever let that happen to you, okay? Promise me. I want you safe all the time. I'd be worried sick if you ever got heart and spirit-broken like that. Taylor, you must [i]promise[/i] me, please...

    Well. I'm going to practice with my band, GEL (God's Eternal Light, apparently...I'm kinda' only there for the music) soon. And after that, lacrosse exercise. Then hopefully dinner if I even make it that far. So I suppose I should go. I'll talk to you tomorrow!

    Stay curly, Swift

  8. decinere avatar

    On Tue, Sep 25, 2012 at 4:39 PM, decinere said:

    hey wow thanks so much, it means a lot ! and one day you will be fluent in both, i'm sure [: thank you again !

  9. Taylor Swift 15 avatar

    On Tue, Sep 25, 2012 at 4:23 PM, Taylor Swift 15 said:

    lovely- lovely-lovely i read every word that usually never happen so i think you are a good writer...pitily i don't know some words but i really like...my wishes for you..AND about that of "i only play piano and guitar" really you think that it's a little thing, still i don't know how to play a song in the guitar or how to play with both hands on the piano so i think you should be proud of it......and yeah it's a curly girls thing

Big Machine Records

Visit www.OnGuardOnline.gov for social networking safety tips for parents and youth.

Powered by ground(ctrl)