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Things not to do when in a horror movie

Mon, Jun 18, 2012 at 6:08 PM By: JustSayYes

Split up from your group
Don’t bother with back up when going into a scary situation
Think you’re safe staying in one place and hunkering down until the monster/killer goes away
Trust the Government
Try to play the hero
Believe that if you can’t see the bad guy, he can’t see you
Get distracted by a naughty moment with the one you love
Go see what the strange noise is
Go back for something you left behind
Go looking for the dog/cat
Don’t bring enough ammunition
Don’t check the flashlight batteries
Don’t have a flashlight
Share your hiding place with strangers/people who scream at the slightest noise
Go into the basement
Go into a dark basement alone
Go into the woods all alone
Break into a school after hours
Hang out in a cemetery
Make out in a car on a deserted road
Shove other people in the direction of the danger as a distraction so you can run
Try and create a distraction so your friends can run
Don’t listen to the person warning you about danger/gave you important information that might actually save your life
Go out and party when you know there’s a possible serial killer staking victims with your characteristics
Indulge in illegal substances/copious amounts of alcohol
Choose the wrong shortcut
Crash the car during the escape
Stay in a creepy motel
Think the puppets/mannequins are cute
Watch the DVD/movie that everyone else watched, just before they died
Wait for the creepy girl/woman with long hair obscuring her face to catch up to you
Go to the bathroom
Take a bath/shower
Be too funny/too cool/be the funny guy
Be the first to get injured
Be whiny
Run/cry/and repeatedly complain “I can’t!” when told to run/do something that might actually save your life
Be the horror aficionado/relate everything to something you saw in a horror movie
Say “I’ll be right back”
Go to the kitchen for a drink/snack
See what’s under the sheet
See what’s in the closet
See what’s under the bed
Pull back the shower curtain
Leave a door/window unlocked
Answer the phone
Answer the phone after getting that first weird phone call
Go check the children
Check to make sure the monster is dead
Read a book of demon summoning aloud
Look for the circuit breaker outside in the alley behind the house in hopes of turning the lights back on
Disregard the friend who suddenly starts acting strange
Disregard the friend who suddenly starts speaking Latin/using a different voice
Go off alone
Solve the puzzle box that opens portals to the underworld
Stand in/above/near/around/beside/under a grave/tomb/crypt/mausoleum/house of the dead
Believe that noise you heard was caused by a very nervous cat
Don’t worry about the appliances starting on their own
Take something from a dead guy/make fun of the dead guy
Hang out in a deserted town
Fool around with DNA technology
Fall/trip when running away from the bad guy
Ignore the strange hissing, drooling, sudden fascination with blood, glowing eyes, foaming mouth, or increased hairiness of someone in your group
Believe there’s nothing in the fog
Live in a coastal town that has an old, forlorn looking lighthouse
Visit a place with a name like Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Bermuda, or any town in Maine
Take a boat or plane into any triangle
Fly on an Oceanic flight
Start obsessing about numbers
Run out of gas at night
Leave the car after it runs out of gas on a dark, deserted road
Go to a creepy deserted house for help
Think staying in the car on a deserted road in the dead of night means you’re safe
Be friendly towards strangers with access to chainsaws, staple guns, electric carving anything, lawnmowers, torches, band saws or meat hooks
Ignore the crescendo of suspenseful music
Keep all the sharpened knives in a wooden block on the counter
Be the first to take off clothing
Be a testosterone driven jock/martial arts student
Back from one room into another without looking behind you
Let hitch hikers into your car
Hitch hike
Babysit
Take a rest break while being chased because you think you’ve eluded the creep
Stand too close to a dark window
Be at a prom where the freaky girl is elected prom queen
Get naughty with your boy/girl friend
Choose the sewer/underground tunnels as a viable escape route
If you feel like someone’s behind you, turn around to check it out
Approach/talk/taunt the creepy person who shows up out of nowhere wearing a mask/weird costume
Take a ride from a stranger
Go into the cornfield
Go to summer camp
Be a camp counselor
Kill the monster and sit down for a good cry
Crawl through the dog door/cat door in the electronic garage door to escape
Do something silly/stupid/risky because someone dares you too
Visit a distant planet/board a strange spaceship and play with the weird eggs/pods
Fall asleep
Participate in a small town celebration/picnic/fireworks display
Be mean to the weird girl/shy/unpopular girl at school
Trust the clown
Spend time with anyone with pointed teeth/hairy face/pale skin
Climb a ladder when a kid named Damien is riding his tricycle nearby
Think the guy in the hockey mask is just a “real sports fan”
Buy a talking doll
Watch a horror movie
Go outside your house on Friday the 13th or October 31st
Live in a neighbourhood where the kids sing songs about the bogeyman especially while jumping rope in white dresses
Hit someone with your car on a deserted road late at night and then get out to check and see that he/she is okay
Play with a Ouija Board
Forget the car keys while you’re escaping
Believe the car will start if you just keep trying to get the engine to turn over
Stick your hand in the garbage disposal to fix it
Take the mask off the murderer/monster when he seems to be dead
Hide in a closet
Bury something in the ancient Indian burial ground
Build your house on an ancient Indian burial ground
Investigate the area after finding a dead body
Go camping with a bunch of teenage friends
Follow the path of a witch who hangs stick figures in trees
Ride in the ambulance with the comatose psychopath
Say “who’s there?” after hearing a strange noise
Wear excessively stupid high heels while being chased
Forget to check the backseat of the car
Run upstairs when escaping the monster/killer
Don’t scream for help when there are people nearby
Scream for help when no one is nearby except the monster/killer
Breathe heavily while hiding and make little gasping noises because the killer will never hear you
Trust that the cop sitting in his car in front of your house is still alive
Don’t get up quickly after falling down, lie there and cry for a few minutes, the murderer always gives you a time out when you need one
Don’t finish off the killer/monster when you manage to knock him down/unconscious
Dig up something dead
Just stand there screaming when the killer/monster comes running towards you
Buy a car called Christine
Pet the St. Bernard
Be friendly with anyone named “Norman”
Stay in the house after it tells you to “Get Out”
Agree to be a caretaker for an isolated, snowbound New England Inn
Ride the rollercoaster
Ride the carousel
Hang out in the amusement park after hours
Swim in the ocean alone/after dark
Trust the nice guy/the charming guy
Be the pretty, well-endowed girl
Hide under the blanket and mutter in a terrified incoherent, snotty-nosed rant that you’re safe and someone’s coming to save you/you’ll wake up from the nightmare if you only wish it hard enough
Don’t ask if anyone’s ever died in your house before you buy it
Play games outside in some abandoned building/field/woods with a group of friends between the hours of 11pm and 4am
Communicate with the dead through a séance
Try to reason with the monster/killer
Hang out in a town made of wax
Ignore the upside down crucifix in the abandoned church you’re hiding in
Investigate strange lights
Rely on the people who supposed to be “rescuing” you
Don’t be afraid of the freakishly intelligent/calm/eerie children
Ignore groups of the freakishly intelligent/calm/eerie children who seem to be following you and waiting for their dark master to arrive to entertain them with your corpse
Ignore the gathering birds
Go into the attic/closet/barn/basement/dark alley/dark/woods/lake
Don’t worry when you start seeing and hearing things that no one else can
Volunteer to go for help
Poke the green glowing space rock
Enjoy a long walk under a full moon
Wear red
Be in love with the really mysterious hottie
Wear skimpy clothing
Make sure you continually look back while running away from the bad guy
Think you’re safe before the sun comes up
Take candy from a stranger/creepy guy
Drink something offered to you by a stranger
Don’t stay away from bunk beds
Open the door
Hang out in a house with lots of sharp objects and a limited supply of fuel for the generator
Play with the animal trap
Take the subway at night
Pound on a door/window in hopes that it will open
Stop to explain to someone why you’re running away in a panic
Adopt a creepy kid
Volunteer to assist with/witness an exorcism
Stop to cry over a dead friend
Joke about your family’s curse
Take a job as a helper for an invalid person, especially if they live in a dilapidated house in an isolated swamp
Don’t listen to the “crazy” old person telling you to run away
Believe that all the dead bodies are actually dead
Destroy the jack o’lanterns around your house on Halloween
Listen to the voices coming from the static on the TV
Give the leprechaun his gold back
Feed anything after midnight
Undress in front of a window
Eat the barbeque
Don’t forward the chain letter
Follow the toy that moves all by itself
Video the strange occurrences in your house
Ignore the terrified look on the face of the person tied up and gagged, who you’re trying to help, especially when they are focused on something behind you
Stare into the mirror in a dark bathroom and say “the name” three times

Comments

  1. moonstorm5000 avatar

    On Mon, Oct 22, 2012 at 6:36 PM, moonstorm5000 said:

    That's A LOT of scary stuff.

  2. FearlesslySwift_Eyes avatar

    On Sun, Jul 8, 2012 at 2:37 AM, FearlesslySwift_Eyes said:

    O.o

Big Machine Records

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