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Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 7:24 PM

You know..when you're on your bed and you think. You think about everything. Life. Friends. Parents. Games. School...everything. Well, I was thinking lately about this :

Problem: I do not feel comfortable with the popular ''kids'' (14-15 yrs old) at school...I like to be with the ''rejects'' (I hate that word so much, but that's how some of my ''firends'' call them...I'm stuck in the middle. I don't know what to do!

- The ''populars'': They are a group of about 14 students my age, at school, that can hang out with anyone, who are super outgoing people and who I like. I'm friend with a few of them, but not everyone. Some of them even smoke and..we're only fourteen, so I don't hang out with these ones.

- The ''rejects'' (I seriously hate that word SO SO much!): They are amazingly talented and super intelligent people. They are actually very cool to hang out with and it's not as awkward and I can be weird (kinda myself) with them and they would be as crazy with me. They like books and school and music and we're a mix of a lot of ethnics. I'm Asian and there are a lot of asians and there are some Russians and some French and some Israelis and stuff.

Why I think I feel this way: It goes back to when I was about 7 yrs old. I was kinda the ''toy'' or ''dog'' of these two girls. They would tell people I was their friend, but both of thhem were frenemies. They used me, when nobody would hang out with them. They had a little schedule (plan) that told when I had to play with who on the playground. For example, on Monday and Wednesday, I had to hang out with the first one. Then, on Tuesday and Thurday, I had to hang out with the other one and on Friday, I could play with someone else. Then, when I didn't want to..they would tell me they weren'T my friends anymore..and I have always struggled to have friends. I never really had TRUE friends up until I was 11 yrs old. I was used and...ya. I was always the ''rejected'' one and the one with no friends and who looked at the popular girls wanted to be like them.

What's happening RIGHT NOW: So, I'm in my 3th year of high school and I am hating the fact that there are two groups. The more popular ones that everybody knows and everything and also the less popular ones who are super nice to me and that I think will always be there for me. I have always been hanging out and going to the mall and to the movies with my friends who are from the less popular group. I love them very very much and I will always be there for them. No matter what. Well, this past 2 years, I have been friends with a girl at school and she is popular. She has a boyfriend and boys fighting over her and everything. There is just too much drama and I hate getting into the girls drama at school...I hate seeing girls swear at each other, hate each other, talk behind each others back...and I'm the kind of girl to whom the BAD words make uncomfortable. like I hate when people swears...It makes me feel so uncomfortable.

I don't know what to do know. because my friend, who is popular, is starting to talk about the ''rejects'' in front of me when I hang out with her and it's so awkward, because I love these people more than I love the popular ones. I'd rather stay clean, than go skip/ ditch school all the time and go smoke at lunch time. I really donT' know what to do right now!

Question: What should I do? Should I stop hanging out with the popular ones?
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING, SWIFTIES!

Replies to This Posting

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    Re: I really need your opinion on this!

    Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 7:28 PM

    ...please
    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING, SWIFTIES!

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    Re: I really need your opinion on this!

    Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    please?
    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING, SWIFTIES!

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    Re: I really need your opinion on this!

    Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 7:41 PM

    my opinion is if you know what is best for you then go for it. you can always make new friends in a new environment as long as they care about your feelings and you guys can bond with each other, tell someone your true feelings without any mean comments coming back and won't have secrets between two of you. that's the best. Honestly, I'm too at the not popular group and hate girls dramas especially when guys fight over a girl who think she kinda rules the school ( cause my school has one girl like that, and she was at the same class with me last grade. and i always write song lyrics on my arm and she tried to copy my style and think she's cooler. What?! haha. ) anyway, you know what's best for you. this is just my opinoin. not sure if this is the kind of opinion you wanted but good luck finding where you belong :)

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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 8:00 PM

    Swifty15 wrote:
    my opinion is if you know what is best for you then go for it. you can always make new friends in a new environment as long as they care about your feelings and you guys can bond with each other, tell someone your true feelings without any mean comments coming back and won't have secrets between two of you. that's the best. Honestly, I'm too at the not popular group and hate girls dramas especially when guys fight over a girl who think she kinda rules the school ( cause my school has one girl like that, and she was at the same class with me last grade. and i always write song lyrics on my arm and she tried to copy my style and think she's cooler. What?! haha. ) anyway, you know what's best for you. this is just my opinoin. not sure if this is the kind of opinion you wanted but good luck finding where you belong :)


    Thank you...I really take any opinion...it always helps! Thank you!

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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Thu, Jan 31, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    I think if you love the so called rejects (I hate that word too! We'd always have populars,middles and basically what you call yours but in a different name!) I think if you know the ones who will be there for you and who you like more you should stick with them! Because in the long run they'll be the better friend to you then the others will :)




    1.Me2.cloudnine Av FE13

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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Fri, Feb 1, 2013 at 2:47 AM

    I was in that situation in Year 7. I was apart of the "popular" group - and they all wanted to get in trouble and smoke and party, and I wasn't interested in doing that - it's Year 7/8, kids that age shouldn't do any of that stuff. I wasn't interested in doing any of that - I'm still not - and I had started to like other people who weren't apart of our "popular" group.

    By the middle of Year 7, I left the "popular" group and became friends with the others. They were easier to be around and were a better influence on me. Now, in Year 12, I still talk to those "popular" people I used to consider my best friends, but I'm best friends with those same "rejects" I chose in Year 7. But, now I'm doing really well in school, and they... aren't. We're not nasty towards each other, I'll have conversations with them every now and then - it's not a bad thing to find new friends and move on. And if moving on is what suits you better, then go ahead, be Fearless, and move on. It's not like you're never going to speak to those "popular" kids ever again :)

    I hope I helped! :)


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    RE: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Fri, Feb 1, 2013 at 6:02 AM

    I know how you feel to some extent. I'm not popular at all, and sometimes I feel a little trapped by it. When that happens, I think about my friends and how being with people who really care is more important than being popular.
    Anyway, I think you should spend some time this weekend maybe sort if analyzing your friends, all of them. Which friends treat you better? The populars or the unpopulars? (sorry if that seems rude. I know that being popular doesn't necessarily make you cool, and you can be cool without being popular) Who will always have your back no matter what? Who do enjoy being around more? Then, spend more time with them. If your unsure, hang out with both groups for a week and reassess. You don't have to completely give up a group of people, but if you're uncomfortable with them, don't make them "your group." Be with people who make you a better person

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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Sat, Feb 2, 2013 at 3:45 AM

    SwiftieNaomie13 wrote:
    Swifty15 wrote:
    my opinion is if you know what is best for you then go for it. you can always make new friends in a new environment as long as they care about your feelings and you guys can bond with each other, tell someone your true feelings without any mean comments coming back and won't have secrets between two of you. that's the best. Honestly, I'm too at the not popular group and hate girls dramas especially when guys fight over a girl who think she kinda rules the school ( cause my school has one girl like that, and she was at the same class with me last grade. and i always write song lyrics on my arm and she tried to copy my style and think she's cooler. What?! haha. ) anyway, you know what's best for you. this is just my opinoin. not sure if this is the kind of opinion you wanted but good luck finding where you belong :)


    Thank you...I really take any opinion...it always helps! Thank you!


    You're welcome :)

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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Sat, Feb 2, 2013 at 4:28 AM

    My advice, don't take sides... hang out with the 'populars' and the less popular...
    If your friends don't like that you hang out with the other group... that is their problem... choose friends not a group!!



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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Sat, Feb 2, 2013 at 4:49 AM

    I know how you feel when I was in year 7 I was in a group with the popular kids it helped me gain some confidence but I found out they were just using me and my friend (who I'm still best friends with now) to make themselves look more popular. Nobody actually my name I was just the girl with the long blonde hair who kinda followed them around like a little puppy dog!
    So anyway at the start of year 8 three of them left to hang out with the year 10's. Luckily I still had some friends who spoke to from Primary school and I was in alot of classes with them and they said that we could sit with them at lunch and break. For the first half term my friend and I went backwards and forwards from the people who abandoned us to the people who were actually nice to us. But finally we settled on sitting with our true friends the ones who were always nice to us and would always include us in everything they did.
    I am in year 9 now and still friends with them, more people have jined our friends group and now we take up one and a half tables in our cafeteria! I have six main friends who I love very much and who I can be myself around.
    So i guess my answer to your question is that you should be friends with the people you can be yourself around, and for that person who is talking about the 'rejects' you should ask them nicely to stop talking about them that way. And if they carry on then they are not your proper friend.
    Sorry its alot of writing and I kinda rambled on but I hope it helped :)
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    Re: Opinions needed! Problem!!!!

    Sat, Feb 2, 2013 at 4:53 AM

    i would go with the ''rejects''
    those popular people, they might affect you in your future studies and might use you
    Swifties forever and always