The Feeling

It's a deep, sharp feeling
When it hits you
Yet it's fast and subtle
When you realize

It's all over, it all ended
Though while you realize,
You don't believe
How could you?
How would you?
How could He?

Trained all our lives
To be ready, to be prepared
Preaching it to others
Until it's your tears falling

You were drowning in denial
Cause you knew it would happen
You were choking on truth
Cause you were spitting out lies

The last laugh
The last cry
The last holding hands
The last breath

I guess...
You guess it's just the way of life
You guess it's just meant to be
But just guessing doesn't mend the feeling..

COPYRIGHT OF/LITTLE WHITE LIES/TC

This is a poem I wrote after my grandfather died. It's about saying goodbye for the last time. This is Final Goodbyes for Granddaddy:

3/4/11
Final Goodbyes for Granddaddy

The wind whistles and tangles
Through my brown hair.
It whips the black dress
Around my stockinged legs.
I shiver in the cold and join
The procession of mourners
To the pitched roof where a
Coffin rests in silence.

The month: October.
Destination: Sandy Springs Cemetery,
Atlanta, Georgia.
The guns spark and scream
One by One.
I only listen, cold and still.
My mother is beside me, crying bitterly.
The folded flag is given to my aunt.

The crowd disperses to their cars.
I pass the coffin and gently
Lay a hand on the polished wood.
I say only one word, “Good-bye.”
On the inside I think to myself,
“I should have listened to your
Rambling stories of the war.
You should have come up with
Us, you should have let go of your pride.”

You should have... I should have...
A broken record left to play over and over
Again.
All I have left to say and feel
Is good-bye.
Final good-byes.
Not when you were in the hospital
And I was North, at a field hockey game.
Here. Under a tree on a carpet
Of pine needles.
Good-bye and a few memories.
That’s not much.

I climb into the car.
Of my two grandfathers, the
Only one who loved, loves, me is
Gone.
I love you was never said by Him.
But, you did not have to say it either.
You had warm embraces and
Took us fishing and drove up
Every year when school ended.
He only gives those warm embraces
To his own little girls.

Dying memories, us fishing at the beach.
Fading ashes on the wind.
The car drives off.
I let go of my final good-byes
And they fly out the window.
The sunlight shines over that
Plot of earth under the pine tree.
The wind whistles and tangles
Through my brown hair.



I take pictures and write, especially poetry. Check out my website to see it all! http://taylorbreeding.com

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Childdeath

The weight of a feather
Between my fingers
So soft like heather
A sweet smell lingers

Sometimes I wish
I could kiss away the pain
Or tear out the tubes
That pump life to your veins

Your broken body
Hangs in my arms
Limp and swollen
With all of your scars

Like a war veteran
You fought it hard
But my baby boy
We were dealt a rough card

How am I supposed to live
If I’m not keeping you from harm?
How am I supposed to breathe
Without you wrapped in my arms?
Life was supposed to be
A two-way street
But they’ve put up a barricade
Between me and my sweet
Love

And I think it’s safe to say
I loved you

In the middle of the night
I heard a knock on my door
Whispers through the dark
And a creak in the floor

In through the silence
Walked a large shape
Picked you up in its arms
And carried you away

I begged and prayed
For you to stay
Or bring me with you
To that far away place

But the figure just bowed
And shook its head
“Where he’s going you may not
Reach until you’re dead”

I don’t know how I am supposed to live
If I’m not keeping you from harm
How I am supposed to breathe
Without you wrapped in my arms
Life was supposed to be
A two-way street
But they’ve put up a barricade
Between me and my sweet
Love

And I think it’s safe to say
I loved you

Then I saw a golden haired boy
Whose face I had memorized
Was it my brother who had left us
When he was just a young child?

He grinned and suddenly
I realized
It was you my little one
Grown and alive
I looked straight into your eyes
And you told me not to cry

That you’d always be with me
That you’d never really died
To smile, now you were truly free!
From all the chains and hospital sheets

I drank in your features
I will never quench my thirst
And when you disappeared again
I felt my aching heart burst

But I know now
Somehow I will live
And I’ll be keeping you from harm
Somehow I will breathe
Without you wrapped in my arms
Life will always be
A two-way street
You took down the barricade
Between our sweet, sweet
Love

I know it’s safe to say
I love you

I’ll always miss your little feet
Hands that were so small and smooth
But I know you’re watching over me
And I’ll always be watching over you