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I need to vent...

Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:32 PM

First of all if you're reading this, thank you.

Now, I'm not feeling very good at the moment. My best friend has seemed a little distant lately and today, I found out why. She came up to me and said this:

"Shania, it seems to me and a few other people that you've been using me and treating me differently lately."

Using her? How would I be using her? And the only difference in the way I've been treating her is I've not been talking to her as much lately BECAUSE she seemed distant.

"Some people have told me that you've been saying things behind my back."

Why does she think that I've done that? I would NEVER do that to her, ever. I tried telling her that but she doesn't believe me, which makes me feel so much worse.

"You need to get help, Shania. I don't want you doing it again. And you have to tell your Mum, it's the best thing to do.

Okay. About 5 weeks ago, I cut myself for the first time. I haven't done it since. She has already taken me to the counsellor and we've worked something out. I have promised her that I will never do it again but she is constantly putting her self under unecessary stress because she thinks that I will. And she was pressuring me into telling my mum, which I DO NOT want to do. She just doesn't understand. And she was saying things like "You did that to yourself" in front of other people and I think they've taken a hint :'S

"It seems to me that you're trying to take my place before I move schools."

Alright, where the actual f*ck did she get this from?! Why would I want to take her place? I don't even really like the people she hangs out with to be honest... ugh I'm just so confused!

She knows so much about me, I don't want to loose her :'(

If you read all of that, thank you so much.

Replies to This Posting

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    Aww, I'm sorry! If you ever need somebody to talk to, PM me!
    Honestly, I can see her concern for a friend, but she seems to be thinking a lot of very different thing... The only advice I really think I can give is to talk to her, which you've tried, but maybe try again? But if she keeps treating you like this, then maybe you shoul hang out with somebody else for a while... You could also talk to the consellor about this, and see what he/she has to say... I'm so sorry this is going on! :(




    Cheese =D

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:37 PM

    What does this have to do with tay tay!! We are not your counselors!! talk to someone who cares! we are swifties not psicologists!!! BTW I spell that wrong!!

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    i'm sorry. but first don't cut yourself again. sorry if i'm sounding a bit bossy but please don't!!!!! :) ok well i think your friend is overthinking things and over-worrying things. i believe you and i just think she's very ver worried about you. but you can always message us for advice (we always try to help) sorry for not raelly saying anything... :)

    from four cali swifties to y'all...
    long live Taylor Swift

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    Berrysis wrote:
    Aww, I'm sorry! If you ever need somebody to talk to, PM me!
    Honestly, I can see her concern for a friend, but she seems to be thinking a lot of very different thing... The only advice I really think I can give is to talk to her, which you've tried, but maybe try again? But if she keeps treating you like this, then maybe you shoul hang out with somebody else for a while... You could also talk to the consellor about this, and see what he/she has to say... I'm so sorry this is going on! :(

    Thankyou so much Claire :)
    It just so happens that my counsellor is working tonight so I'm going to give her a call so we can talk about it. Thankyou so much for reading that Xxx

    LeLe Hammel wrote:

    What does this have to do with tay tay!! We are not your counselors!! talk to someone who cares! we are swifties not psicologists!!! BTW I spell that wrong!!

    Umm....

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    LIFE4US wrote:
    i'm sorry. but first don't cut yourself again. sorry if i'm sounding a bit bossy but please don't!!!!! :) ok well i think your friend is overthinking things and over-worrying things. i believe you and i just think she's very ver worried about you. but you can always message us for advice (we always try to help) sorry for not raelly saying anything... :)

    I won't, thankyou lovely :')

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    LeLe Hammel wrote:
    What does this have to do with tay tay!! We are not your counselors!! talk to someone who cares! we are swifties not psicologists!!! BTW I spell that wrong!!

    um... well i think swifties are supposed to be there for each other FOREVER and ALWAYS. i'm sorry but when there's a swiftie that needs help, we help them. we might have different views on this but that's my opinion. plus, this is in 'off-topic'. sorry but i think this is perfectly fine. help a swiftie! :)

    from four cali swifties to y'all...
    long live Taylor Swift

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    ForeverEnchanted13 wrote:
    LIFE4US wrote:
    i'm sorry. but first don't cut yourself again. sorry if i'm sounding a bit bossy but please don't!!!!! :) ok well i think your friend is overthinking things and over-worrying things. i believe you and i just think she's very ver worried about you. but you can always message us for advice (we always try to help) sorry for not raelly saying anything... :)

    I won't, thankyou lovely :')

    good :) lovelovelove:)

    from four cali swifties to y'all...
    long live Taylor Swift

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    I'm sorry to hear that :( But just know that she's looking out for you and she wants what's best for you.

    Now I don't know what she's talking about with the whole "taking your place" thing, but my best friend has had problems with suicidal thoughts before, and I lost a lot of sleep over it. I never told her parents because she didn't want me to, but I would have if it had gotten any more serious.

    Every relationship is different, and i can't accurately give you any advice, but if she's moving to a different school I think you should fix anything that's going on before she does :( My best friend moved across the world, and we're still close, but it hurts a lot. So just make sure you don't regret whatever you do or don't do.
    Message me if you want a graphic :)

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    Tgirl15 wrote:
    I'm sorry to hear that :( But just know that she's looking out for you and she wants what's best for you.

    Now I don't know what she's talking about with the whole "taking your place" thing, but my best friend has had problems with suicidal thoughts before, and I lost a lot of sleep over it. I never told her parents because she didn't want me to, but I would have if it had gotten any more serious.

    Every relationship is different, and i can't accurately give you any advice, but if she's moving to a different school I think you should fix anything that's going on before she does :( My best friend moved across the world, and we're still close, but it hurts a lot. So just make sure you don't regret whatever you do or don't do.

    Thankyou for reading :)
    She is having suicidal thoughts because of this and I'm really worried because she's thinking these things for absolutely nothing... I didn't even do anything :'S

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    Aaaw...I'm sorry.

    Try telling her your side of the story. That all the rumors were fake you were NOT talking behind her back or trying totake her place. Tell her how much you mean to her and how you wouldn't want to see her go.

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    LeLe Hammel wrote:
    What does this have to do with tay tay!! We are not your counselors!! talk to someone who cares! we are swifties not psicologists!!! BTW I spell that wrong!!


    We DO care. There's a reason this is in the off-topic section. Don't comment if you don't care.
    Message me if you want a graphic :)

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    LeLe Hammel wrote:
    What does this have to do with tay tay!! We are not your counselors!! talk to someone who cares! we are swifties not psicologists!!! BTW I spell that wrong!!

    DUDE, you realize that on TC, you don't have to talk about JUST Taylor??
    I get that ur new and all, but, if something's making someone feel down, don't question where and why, just help!
    RED.
    (My avatar is by Annie :D)

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    I'm sorry, things like this can REALLY be a pain.
    That's why we're here to help :)
    I agree with @swiftyswizzle13
    Tell her your side of the story, and make sure she listens, then let her tell her side of the story.
    Piece together both stories so you both learn the truth.
    Hopefully, she didn't do anything wrong in the first place and we know you didn't.
    That way, you guys can be friends again.
    Sometimes, it doesn't work out that easily...
    PM me if it doesn't, Kay?
    We you!
    x.x
    RED.
    (My avatar is by Annie :D)

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 5:04 PM

    Aww you poor thing! :( if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here! Especially as you made my avatar and always talk to me on the Australia thread! :) that's so awful! There's so many rumours flying around and people believe some things and not others and I've been in a situation where I was so confused and I didn't know what to believe! It really sucks because you feel so lost! Try getting her on her own and talking to her calmly about everything. Let you both explain how you're feeling and what's going on and then hopefully you can sort things out! Try telling her your confused and want her to explain! :( I'm so sorry this is happening, I hope everything gets sorted out with you and your friend!

    Love em xx

    STOP BULLYING


    cloudnine, Av, ForeverEnchanted13

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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    Please Shania don't cut yourself anymore. I really hated to read that because I don't like to see people hurt themselves in anyway. As for your friend I think the best thing to do is sit down, talk to her, and just tell her how you feel about the situation. She thinks your using her or talking behind her back well make sure she knows what the truth is. If she is suicidal than I think it's very important that you convince her to get help because killing yourself isn't the answer. Trust me I've been there before many times where I thought about ending it, but the thing that stopped me was looking at the big picture and realizing that being so young I still have so much left to do in my life. Hell there was a very brief period of time that I thought about it when my aunt died a month ago, but I couldn't do it because it would've just made things worse and put my family in more pain and I wasn't about to do that.



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    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    seems to me shes being listening to some bad advice about you. you just gotta roll with this till she calms down enough to see you didnt and never would talk about her behind her back. its hard when these things happen but be brave if shes a true friend it will work out fine in the end. just dont get so impulsive regards solutions to problems. if something really bugs you step back and think of something positive or even very silly and then just say its bad but not worth making worse. youve made the best 1st move of all and thats sharing a problem so it wont get worse. take care and hope everything works out for you.
    ted is my thunder buddy.

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      1. Casual Poster - How to achieve: reach the threshold of 13 posts in the forums.
      2. Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      3. Super-Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      4. Slight Obsession - - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      5. Taylor Connect Is Life - How to achieve: reach a VERY high threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? It will take you a while to get there :)

    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 5:59 PM

    Thankyou so much everyone. I love you for taking the time to read this and help me Xxx

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
      1. Attention Grabber - How to achieve: draw attention to your profile!
      1. So Popular - How to achieve: become friends with over 130 other Taylor fans!
      1. Conversationalist - how to achieve: reach a certain threshold of wall posts on your profile from other users. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      1. Casual Poster - How to achieve: reach the threshold of 13 posts in the forums.
      2. Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      3. Super-Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      4. Slight Obsession - - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      5. Taylor Connect Is Life - How to achieve: reach a VERY high threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? It will take you a while to get there :)

    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 6:51 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear that......

    When I was in highschool, one of my friends came up to me and said something similiar...although it was about a completley different thing. We spoke about and it turned out that she was the one who had some problems and that I had nothing to do with it. Maybe this is why she is distant? Maybe she has some of her own problems and she just needed someone to let her anger out on? I'm probably completley wrong about this but I hope it kind of helps you a little bit :)


    Thankyou to 1) heleh and 2) playfulconversations13

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
      1. Attention Grabber - How to achieve: draw attention to your profile!
      1. So Popular - How to achieve: become friends with over 130 other Taylor fans!
      1. Conversationalist - how to achieve: reach a certain threshold of wall posts on your profile from other users. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      1. Casual Poster - How to achieve: reach the threshold of 13 posts in the forums.
      2. Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      3. Super-Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      4. Slight Obsession - - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      5. Taylor Connect Is Life - How to achieve: reach a VERY high threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? It will take you a while to get there :)

    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 6:53 PM

    Outbackswiftie13 wrote:
    I'm so sorry to hear that......

    When I was in highschool, one of my friends came up to me and said something similiar...although it was about a completley different thing. We spoke about and it turned out that she was the one who had some problems and that I had nothing to do with it. Maybe this is why she is distant? Maybe she has some of her own problems and she just needed someone to let her anger out on? I'm probably completley wrong about this but I hope it kind of helps you a little bit :)


    Thankyou to 1) heleh and 2) playfulconversations13

    I never thought about this.... it gives me something to think about, thank you :)

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
      1. Attention Grabber - How to achieve: draw attention to your profile!
      1. So Popular - How to achieve: become friends with over 130 other Taylor fans!
      1. Conversationalist - how to achieve: reach a certain threshold of wall posts on your profile from other users. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      1. Casual Poster - How to achieve: reach the threshold of 13 posts in the forums.
      2. Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      3. Super-Serious Poster - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      4. Slight Obsession - - How to achieve: reach a certain threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? You'll have to wait and see!
      5. Taylor Connect Is Life - How to achieve: reach a VERY high threshold of posts in the forums. How many you ask? It will take you a while to get there :)

    Re: I need to vent...

    Sun, Nov 18, 2012 at 7:12 PM

    LeLe Hammel wrote:
    What does this have to do with tay tay!! We are not your counselors!! talk to someone who cares! we are swifties not psicologists!!! BTW I spell that wrong!!


    I have to say, that was pretty mean. "Talk to someone who cares"? First off, this forum is in the off-topic section. That means that it doesn't have to do with Taylor. According to the little describtion on the off-topic part, it says that it can do with Harry Potter. Second off, us, Swifies (I'm not saying you're not) are supposed to support each other. Sure we're not physiatrists, but we do mistakes, and one of our jobs as humans is to help others, have them learn from OUR mistakes. I'm sorry if I offened you, but I thought this needed to be said.

    And for foreverenchanted 13 (i love that name!): I am really sorry to hear that. I hope that everything works out and that she will eventually understand you. :)
    "There's a fire inside of you that can't help but shine through" -Invisible