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I'm having a mental breakdown....

Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:51 AM

Oh I am most certainly having a mental breakdown!! Everything just seems to be coming to hault in my life and I feel like I've hit rock bottom. Literally.

I'm 19 and I feel as though my life is just cruising along with no purpose and it doesn't matter what I do... Everything changes. There is nothing I dislike more than the changing of events in one's life. It never seems to be for the best. Ever. Like if I'm happy doing something, something or someone has to come along and change everything. And I really really dislike it.

I feel as though Taylor Connect is the best place to let loose of all this negative energy because you all tend to be so supportive and no one else will listen and understand me anyway...


I got told this evening that I'm pretty much gonna loose my job to be passed off to work with someone else I don't want to work for... Whatttttt? And I had absolutely no choice in this matter so far. It was a huge blow because to me, it feels like I'm being passed on to become someone else's business for an extra dollar an hour. Gee thanksssssss

I have actually lost all motivation to become a physical education teacher... Don't ask me how... I just have... I'm thinking it's gonna be too hard. It's not the teaching point exactly... But the other work and planning and other things like that I don't know if I can handle

And I'm over university. I just dont want to be a student anymore and I'm so over everything

And then I'm 19 and I don't have a boyfriend and there doesn't seem to be one anywhere on the horizon... In fact anywhere on this earth. I feel so lonely sometimes. I mean... I start talking to a guy and then they all seem to ignore me all of a sudden. I mean why???? Why do they do this to me?? And the last guy that seemed the slightest bit interested in me... Told me he didn't want me anymore in a text message. Sigh.

And I don't have any friends. Any that show any respect to me anyway. And I'm sick of being treated the way I do by them. My younger sisters friends are nicer to me than my own.

I just feel as if I'm going nowhere in life. I'm 19 and it seems everyone around me is doing something amazing and then there is me... Loosing everything.... Going backwards....

Sorry you had to read this... But if anyone has anything to say that might make me feel the slightest bit better that would be great cause I can't even persuade myself to snap out of it...

xxx
L.O.V.E.

my songbook! please visit!

"Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

Replies to This Posting

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 6:39 AM

    You are not alone. I'm on the exact same boat on you with everything I'm over the university, barley have inspiration to continue my studies. Hopefully this is just a runt for both of us. Don't give up on your dreams even if they same hard. Things get better. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here (:

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 7:16 AM

    NataliaRu wrote:
    You are not alone. I'm on the exact same boat on you with everything I'm over the university, barley have inspiration to continue my studies. Hopefully this is just a runt for both of us. Don't give up on your dreams even if they same hard. Things get better. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here (:


    I hope so too. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it :)
    L.O.V.E.

    my songbook! please visit!

    "Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
    Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 7:57 AM

    I was feeling on the verge of a meltdown yesterday myself and I can see reflections of many of the things that were bothering me in what you've written here. I really feel for you. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way.

    I so know the feeling of not wanting to be a student anymore. I got to second year university and just burnt out. I dropped out and didn't want to go back. I eventually went back, but I didn't go back full time so I could work on other things on the side, take some of the stress off from the school part and give me more time to figure it out.

    As for the friends, I can totally relate to that too. Part of the reason I burnt out from university like that was because none of my friends cared. It was like a one way friendship kind of thing with them, you know where they expect it all from you, they expect you to call them, etc, but never include you with their plans or call you...like fake friends. The boyfriend (or girlfriend in my case) situation is same for me. I know how that all feels. And losing all the motivation to push ahead with a dream in life because it seems too hard. Been there many times. And going nowhere in life, I know that too because I'm stuck in a rut right now with my life situation and it's going to take about 2 more years before I can get through it. It gets really frustrating watching everyone around me moving forward.

    I have been through so many moments like this, where I've felt like I've hit rock bottom, and that's just what they are, moments in time that will pass. They always do. Something always comes along, sometimes it's just something small like hearing a Taylor song on the radio unexpected, and it will snap me out of it. It might take a few days or it might be a couple of minutes from now for that to happen. I just keep reminding myself of that when I get feeling like that, knowing that it will pass soon because it always does (and endless repeats of Taylor's music helps a lot too!). It will for you too. Just hold on. And if you need a friend you got me too.

    I'm not sure if this helps you any, but sometimes knowing that you are not alone in how you feel helps. I wish I could do something more.

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 9:13 AM

    You arent alone! If you need someone to talk to you have members here and me! :)

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    I know how you feel. My school is REALLY strict on grades and work, and it's really advanced. I understand nothing and I keep getting bad grades and on top of that with my depression it just gets worse. Just try and keep your head up sweetie!
    ~ Dedicated Lovatic and Swiftie

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    song13bird wrote:
    I was feeling on the verge of a meltdown yesterday myself and I can see reflections of many of the things that were bothering me in what you've written here. I really feel for you. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way.

    I so know the feeling of not wanting to be a student anymore. I got to second year university and just burnt out. I dropped out and didn't want to go back. I eventually went back, but I didn't go back full time so I could work on other things on the side, take some of the stress off from the school part and give me more time to figure it out.

    As for the friends, I can totally relate to that too. Part of the reason I burnt out from university like that was because none of my friends cared. It was like a one way friendship kind of thing with them, you know where they expect it all from you, they expect you to call them, etc, but never include you with their plans or call you...like fake friends. The boyfriend (or girlfriend in my case) situation is same for me. I know how that all feels. And losing all the motivation to push ahead with a dream in life because it seems too hard. Been there many times. And going nowhere in life, I know that too because I'm stuck in a rut right now with my life situation and it's going to take about 2 more years before I can get through it. It gets really frustrating watching everyone around me moving forward.

    I have been through so many moments like this, where I've felt like I've hit rock bottom, and that's just what they are, moments in time that will pass. They always do. Something always comes along, sometimes it's just something small like hearing a Taylor song on the radio unexpected, and it will snap me out of it. It might take a few days or it might be a couple of minutes from now for that to happen. I just keep reminding myself of that when I get feeling like that, knowing that it will pass soon because it always does (and endless repeats of Taylor's music helps a lot too!). It will for you too. Just hold on. And if you need a friend you got me too.

    I'm not sure if this helps you any, but sometimes knowing that you are not alone in how you feel helps. I wish I could do something more.


    Thank you so much for those wonderful words. I'm sorry it's happened to you to as well - its a horrible feeling
    Music seems to solve everything haha :) x
    L.O.V.E.

    my songbook! please visit!

    "Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
    Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:47 PM

    BackToDecember_2012 wrote:
    You arent alone! If you need someone to talk to you have members here and me! :)


    Thank you so so much!! I really appreciate it!! :) x
    L.O.V.E.

    my songbook! please visit!

    "Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
    Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Wow, that does sound stressful. You just have to ask yourself this one thing: What do you want to do? Sorry it's short but I hope it helps
    Credit to Guppy1313

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:49 PM

    LovaticSwiftie wrote:
    I know how you feel. My school is REALLY strict on grades and work, and it's really advanced. I understand nothing and I keep getting bad grades and on top of that with my depression it just gets worse. Just try and keep your head up sweetie!
    ~ Dedicated Lovatic and Swiftie


    I'm so sorry to hear that! Thank you for those kind words and the same with you - keep your head held high! :) x
    L.O.V.E.

    my songbook! please visit!

    "Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
    Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:49 PM

    I'm Sorry to hear that! Things will get better! :)

    Credit To FIXMYHEART


    Made By SWIFTLYFEARLESS13

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    TaylorIsMyStarlight13 wrote:
    Wow, that does sound stressful. You just have to ask yourself this one thing: What do you want to do? Sorry it's short but I hope it helps
    Credit to Guppy1313


    Yeah it is a bit and I don't know what I want to do :/
    X
    L.O.V.E.

    my songbook! please visit!

    "Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
    Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    Lovestruck85 wrote:
    I'm Sorry to hear that! Things will get better! :)

    Credit To FIXMYHEART


    Made By SWIFTLYFEARLESS13


    Thanks!! Xx
    L.O.V.E.

    my songbook! please visit!

    "Don't ever, never, if forever let yourself go. Stay true to who you are.
    Don't ever, never, if forever let those dreams fall. We are in this together."

      1. TC Founder - Joined the new Taylor Connect during the preview period (Feb 2012 - May 2012)
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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    Oh My Gosh becs I am bawling my eyes out right now because you don't deserve any of this and seeing you so sad and down is making me feel sad too! Your the most amazing person I know and those people who are being mean to you do not know what a wonderful friend they are missing out on! Please remember you are not alone at all and that you can talk to me and anyone else on here whenever you need to. Gosh, I don't even know what to say. I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling at the moment! If it makes you feel any better, I am 18 and I have NEVER had a boyfriend in my entire life!

    *sending you the biggest of virtual hugs*

    Keep Smiling girl!! You will be ok!!!


    1) Thankyou to playfulconversations13 2) Me :)

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 5:59 PM

    Ok I have been your friend for a while right? I still pay attention to ya, right? So if we use big bang theory sheldon cooper logic i am your friend and I am a male, so dose that not make your boy friend or is it your friend that just happens to be a boy??????? :) Besides you allways have taylor to fall back on right? If you need a new job you can allways go to work for my brother and i harvesting pecans, then cleaning sorting and grading them by hand! he he he he hehe..... there did that cheer you up a little?

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 6:00 PM

    I feel the exact same way sometimes. I'm not 19 or graduated high school yet but I sometimes feel like life is just passing by. It's like everyone has something to do and belongs somewhere but me. I have NO CLUE what I want to do when I'm older, and this whole "become a recording artist" think probably won't work out. But when I think about those things and get all depressed about them, I rememeber that there's a whole possibly 70 or 80-some years ahead of me I have to figure things out. At the moment I'm happy and thankful for what I have now. I have shoes on my feet and a roof over my head. For you, you got a new job that you dont want, but you also said you're getting paid more. That's a bonus! Try to think of things in a positive way! As for the boyfriend thing, I FEEL YA! Lol it's like everytime a guy enters my life that I have feelings for, or he has feelings for me, I somehow manage to screw it all up lol but we all make mistakes, you just have to learn from them! And now you're probably thinking "what does a 15 (almost 16) year old girl think she knows about life?" lol and I don't know a lot about it, but that's just what I've learned so far :P
    ~I don't know why but with you I'd dance in storm in my dress FEARLESS~

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    try and find out cause its so easy to think oh ill be ok time is on my side and ill know but time can be a funny ole thing when it wants to be. best to look at things in a positive light. i know easier said than done but better for you mentally than not. its easy to view other peoples lives as better but people in relationships have problems also and they probably envy you. just dont be so negative its only gonna get you more down. lifes got its ups and downs but you gotta sometimes roll with it and not let it roll over you.
    ted is my thunder buddy.

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 6:59 PM

    I hope you feel better soon, remember, being a teenager is so hard, I had some really rough teenage years too but I tried to stay positive even in the worst of times, you are not alone. I am 29 and have been through SO much, been there and done that I can tell you it will get better for you if you give it a chance.

    Sometimes it feels helpless, hopeless, and painful but life can be so wonderful if you let it, always remember you deserve the best and keep your chin up :) As you make important decisions think about how you will look back at them ten or twenty years from now and have no regrets, you will feel so strong for making it through those tough times and it will make you feel like a more confident person!

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 7:02 PM

    Just know that Swifties have your back


    1. SOUIAT 2.imeg99
    Avatar: DAAA

    October 22nd, this world will turn RED

    I say no to b

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Tue, Nov 13, 2012 at 7:43 PM

    I love you sis! Im always here if you need someone to fall on, ill catch you!
    Boys are stupid anyway! And the right one will come one day but he will never love you as much as I do!!!
    I guess the thing about work does suck and mum did make it sound like you had no choice, but you do! If you dont want to do it then dont! You dont deserve to go round thinking other people run your life, because they dont!! You are a strong, and thats something I wanna be one day, I wanna be just like you because you are awesome!!!
    And isnt your uni year nearly over? Just hang in there until it ends and then you have ages to relax and rethink everything :))
    You do have friends! You have me, youre my best friend, and my friends love you and you have friends at uni and on Taylor Connect! The 'friends' that bring you down, just think about it, theyll be working for you one day! You seriously need to cut them loose if they are always trying to get you to sink to their level, because you are not at their level! You are miles ahead of them!!!

    Seeing you feel this way really upsets me because you certainly dont deserve this, I have your back Jack! Youre smarter than you think and you are beautiful and friendly and amazing and most of all you are FEARLESS! One day I want these qualities like you do, and just in case youve forgotten, I love you thousands and thousands!

    xxxxxxxx

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    Re: I'm having a mental breakdown....

    Tue, Nov 13, 2012 at 10:08 PM

    I'm not sure if this is the right thing to say right now but just dont worry about it. You are one of the strongest, fearless girls I know and I'm sure that oneday EVERYTHING will go the way you want it to be. I think that once you leave school you're at the point where you dont know what to do... havent experienced it yet cos I havent finished, but yeah... I think that you just have to keep trying. And DONT WORRY about boys. I bet that a thousand boys have a crush on you and you dont know it.

    I think you're such a beautiful, strong, amazing girl and I love you so much.
    And don't worry about what people say.