My Reason

My hope here is smothered
I can barely feel my heartbeat anymore
I can almost taste freedom
But I realize you're blocking the door

It's tempting to go
And run far far away
But you stand your ground
As you beg me to stay

Why I do what I do
Why I say what I say
Why I keep moving forward
To face every day
Why I can't leave this life
And it can't be undone
Why I'm stuck here for now
You are my reason

I fight to hold together
As I hide behind my lifeless smiling face
There's only loss in your arms
But it's not something I can replace

I'm dying to leave
And escape all this pain
But you want me here
So here I remain

Why I do what I do
Why I say what I say
Why I keep moving forward
To face every day
Why I can't leave this life
And it can't be undone
Why I'm stuck here for now
You are my reason

They can't understand
Why I'm still here
What I have to lose
All I have to fear
The pain in my eyes
As you tell me goodbye
The joy in your grasp
While I'm wishing to cry

What you want me to do
What you want me to say
Should I keep moving forward?
Or just turn away?
Should I leave this behind?
And hope you understand
Or keep fighting forward
And pray you take my hand

Hold me close now
Before our time is done
If I am to stay
You will be my reason
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Do You See Me Or Not?

Verse:
Locked up in an invisible cage,
Filled with my anger and my rage,
Waiting for you to see my heart instead.
I put the evidence in front of you,
I made you notice I like you,
But you don’t notice baby.

Pre-Chorus:
And as these days get longer,
And I’m trying to be better,
Want to tell you sooner,
Please tell me you don’t love her… instead?

Chorus:
I just want to scream in your face,
But to get to you feels like a maze,
I want to love you, but
Don’t see me the way I see you,
I just want you to know,
Been meaning to ask you…
Do You See Me or Not?

Verse:
Sad thing is I know everything,
About you, and when the phone would ring,
I’d pray inside my head that’d be you.
Hope maybe you love me,
But baby do you see?
That I am practically begging for you in my head.

Pre-Chorus:
And as these days get longer,
And I’m trying to be better,
Want to tell you sooner,
Please tell me you don’t love her… instead?

Chorus:
I just want to scream in your face,
But to get to you feels like a maze,
I want to love you, but
Don’t see me the way I see you,
I just want you to know,
Been meaning to ask you…
Do You See Me or Not?

Bridge:
You and me a fairytale?
Can you tell me is your heart for sale?
‘Cause I’d give you everything for it,
Get the chair closest to you to sit,
And maybe you can tell me you see me… you love me?

Chorus:
I just want to scream in your face,
But to get to you feels like a maze,
I want to love you, but
Don’t see me the way I see you,
I just want you to know,
Been meaning to ask you…
Do You See Me or Not?
-April

Here's my entry!! This song is deeply personal to me, so I hope you like it!!



Drowning

Turn the tide
Come back to me
Tell me I'm alright
Drag me from the sea

Weakness clings like pain
When things never stay the same
Turn around and try again
Try to slip past every dead end

I know this will pass
Take hold of my hand
Don't let me wash away
Like seashells in the sand
I'm hanging by a thread
Oh darling, please don't leave
Just hold me close to you
Because right now I can't breathe

The sun is going
Down into the sky
So many words unsaid
You know it hurts to say goodbye

The water's rushing in
The darkness of it begins
The moon draws in our tears
As each drops glassy clear

I know this will pass
Take hold of my hand
Don't let me wash away
Like seashells in the sand
I'm hanging by a thread
Oh darling, please don't leave
Just hold me close to you
Because right now I can't breathe


No matter where I fall
I'll land in your arms
You're there to carry me
When the distance seems to far

I know this will pass
I know this will pass
Take hold of my hand
Don't let me wash away
Like seashells in the sand
I'm hanging by a thread
Oh darling, please don't leave
Just hold me close to you
Because right now I can't breathe
I'm hanging by a thread
Oh darling, please don't leave
Just hold me close to you
Because right now I can't breathe
Right now I can't seem to breathe


Gif credit to lilylily13

Here's my entry

Break Me

Can’t believe
That this is so
I hold u close
And I won’t let go
Under this moonlight
In this field
When our lips met
It just felt so real
And then u said
“Don’t break me slow”
I would never do that
And u already know

(Chorus)
Girl ur so
Hypnotizing
I think of you
When I sing
Laughing to myself
Smiling in my sleep
My life’s in ur hands so
Please don’t break me
Girl ur so
Lovely
How can this
Be more meant to be
I stare into ur eyes
They’re just like the sea
I’ll take care of you
But please don’t break me

Kiss my lips
Give me life
You make me
Smile all the time
Ur so sweet
But u don’t know
Ur so beautiful
Please never go

(repeat chorus)

Can’t u see
How much I care
This is so strong
I feel it in the air
Lying next to you
I kissed your lips
I keep thinking
It can’t get better than this

(Chorus 2)
Girl ur so
Electrifying
You’ve always
Kept me smiling
I’ve never been so
Caught up, can’t you see?
I give my life to you
But please don’t break me
Girl ur so
Perfect for me
You’ve got me dreaming
Of you when I sleep
Don’t worry
This is all we need
But please don’t
Break me

And I’m not
Even scared
Cuz I just walk around
Without a care
I always finding myself
Falling so deep
So please
Don’t break me



Bea & Tanyaxoh

This is a song I wrote about a friend who was going through some really hard times. Thankfully, the ending doesn't pertain to what actually happened to her, but the rest it true.


Come 3 o'clock

Verse 1:

Right now, I can see her beautiful smile
For a while, her eyes will still shine
Her laughter is like ringing bells
She'd never think of hurting herself

Pre-Chorus:
But come 3o'clock, she gets off at the bus stop
Walks through the door of her tiny apartment

Chorus:
Daddy's telling her she don't do anything right
Momma's saying she won't ever find love
The scars inside her heart match the ones on her arms
The tears stream down her cheeks
The blood drips down her arms
A smile can hide so much

Verse 2:
Her friend wants to meet her big brother
She's gotta make up some excuse
"Sorry, he's got practice every day"
And then she thinks, "that's the truth, I'm the football he likes to use"

Pre-Chorus
And come 3 o'clock, she gets off at the bus stop
Walks through the door of her apartment again

Chorus:
Daddy's telling her she don't do anything right
Momma's saying she won't ever find love
The scars inside her heart match the ones on her arms
The tears stream down her cheeks
The blood drips down her arms
A smile can hide so much

Bridge:
Oh, God, why does it have to be me?
i'm leaving this place the day I turn 18
But I don't know If I can last that long

Pre-Chorus:
Come 4 o'clock, 20 pills fill her hand
She closes the door, gets a glass of water
and on her note, she wrote

Chorus
"Daddy, you're always telling me I never do anything right
Momma, you always tell me that I'll never find love
the scars on my heart match the ones on my arms.
All you saw was the tears streaming down my face,
but not the blood dripping down my hands.
And you never saw me smile"

outro:
Come 5 o'clock, she finally feels herself slip away
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Unspoken

Verse 1:
It’s pushin’ on ten; I’m starin’ at the wall again.
The personality in your bright blue eyes
Still keeps me up at night
And even now, and even this late, I continue to think about
Things out of my reach.

Pre-Chorus:
I dream about the day when you step towards me
Just to talk to me, just to see me.
Just to love me for me, so I can be me.
But I don’t think you’ll do it – you won’t make a move
So one breath; here I go, if only I could do it


Chorus 1:
Because the words left unspoken will hurt you the most
I gather everything in my innermost
Being and take a step towards you,
Can’t let fear creep into my mind.
But I just can’t do it – I won’t let it happen.
I can’t let you say no.



Verse 2:
To be by your side forever, someone has to make a move –
Why can’t you make a move? Why can’t someone make a move?
Your blue eyes and your blonde hair get me every time
They mesmerize me, they draw me in.
They draw me in, yet I freeze in fear.


Pre-Chorus:
I dream about the day when you step towards me
Just to talk to me, just to see me.
Just to love me for me, so I can be me.
But I don’t think you’ll do it – you won’t make a move
So one breath; here I go, I have to do it.

*Instrumental*

Chorus 2:
Because the words left unspoken will hurt you the most
I gather everything in my innermost
Being and take a step towards you,
Won’t let fear creep into my mind.
But I just have do it – I’ll be okay if it happens.
I’ll survive if you say no.

Bridge:
I haven’t thought about anything else all day,
I think I know what to do, but then I see you.

Verse 3:
My heart speeds up, my walk slows down,
I’ve planned what I’ll say, but when I see you, I lose all my words.
I look deep into your blue eyes, the ones that started it all.
I take a deep breath, open my mouth, smile at you and say-

Drifting Apart
I can see between you and Me
something isN't right
and until i can put my finger On it
i'm noT sleeping tonight
don't you know the you do
why can't you see?
don't you know the things you say
are huRting me

plEase don't tell me
we're drifting Apart
cause if you leave you're taking my heart
please Don't tell me we're drifting apart
cause i'm not readY
for a new starT

anOther Smile, Another laugh
reassures me everYthing's fine
but part of me just can't help
but read between the lines
and i know in my heart of hearts that you're Good
but sOmething in between us
right nOw is being misunderstooD

please don't tell me
we're drifting apart
cause if you leave you're taking my heart
please don't tell me we're drifting apart
cause i'm not ready
for a new start

whatever's Broken between us
i want to put it back together again but
if You don't lEnd me your heart
then how could it mend

please don't tell me
we're drifting apart
cause if you leave you're taking my heart
please don't tell me we're drifting apart
cause i'm not ready
for a new start
You're beautiful, every little piece love



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Destiny

Intro:I saw you on the bus that day,
Didn’t know what to say,
So I hindered you and said just “Hey!”…

V1:And that’s how it started
Never thought I’d be so pleased
Talking to you 8 hours straight
Who tought we had so much to relate
To?

V2:And I learned everything,
But maybe I missed something
‘Bout you and your family
You were everything,but normality…

Ch:It was just a school trip,
Maybe it was just a coincidence,
Just an incidence.
But I really doubt it was.
Meeting you was pleasanty,
It was destiny.

V3:You don’t know your parents,
You want to go to Florence,
Your adoptive dad was nice,
And he was married more than twice,
You said.

Ch:It was just a school trip,
Maybe it was just a coincidence,
Just an incidence.
But I really doubt it was.
Meeting you was pleasanty,
It was destiny.

Br:You name is Stephen,
You love the rainy season,
Can drink anything,but natural juice,
You love all the fruits…
So how can’t I smile
Seeing you while,
You walk
With your hand in you pockets,
You talk,
Trying to look cool?

Ch:It was just a school trip,
Maybe it was just a coincidence,
Just an incidence.
But I really doubt it was.
Meeting you was pleasanty,
It was destiny.

Outro:I’ll know more about you one day,
And I’ll know what to say,
I won’t hinder you and say just “Hey!”…

Songwriting contest